“Why are you in such a rush to grow up?” I was dumbfounded when asked.
For weeks, I’ve been ranting about how much I hate my job. After graduation, this is what I amounted to? I didn’t exactly say, “When I grow up, I wanna work for an insurance company.”
For months, Ray and I have been trying to figure out why I’m so unhappy. Is it because I don’t like my supervisor? Is it because I live in such a small city? Is it because I just graduated, and I feel the need to prove something? Is it because I’m rushing to be at the top of the corporate ladder?
This whole time I’ve been wanting to find a career, so that by the time I’m thirty-four, I would be at the top of the food chain. At the age of twenty-four, I picked up an entry-level job to climb the corporate ladder. Eleven months later, I sit staring at a computer half doing my job, half ranting about my job on various social medias. I can’t stand this job.
During a panic-forced job hunt, Ray asked me, “Why are you in such a rush to grow up?”
I couldn’t answer it. Instantly, I realized, “Oh my gosh, I’ve been preaching to the world about how you don’t need material things to be happy in life. And here I am, looking for a corporate job, so that…I can have more money when I’m older.”
I thought this whole time that I wanted to have a corporate job and climb the ladder now because it’s the responsible thing to do. I’ve been a good student all my life. After junior high was high school. And after graduating high school as a distinguished scholar, there was a full scholarship ride to ASU. And after ASU was supposed to be a promising job. I freaked out that I didn’t have a promising job. I freaked out because I didn’t know what job to go for that I would be happy with for the rest of my life. I’ve been following the “good student” road, and now that it has ended, I’m direction-less.
Since I don’t know where I wanna work or what position I would like to have, I went back to an idea I had after studying abroad. I’m happy to announce that I will be going to Hawaii to help build houses with Habitat for Humanity! I joined their Global Village Program to stay in Kauai for 10 days which begins at the end of September. I will be trading computers for hard hats. No more sitting on my butt all day for work! Sitting in traffic will be replaced with sitting on sandy beaches. Coming home feeling like my data entry skills will go nowhere will be replaced with a feeling that my days work will be useful to the family in need of a home.
I know that there is more to life than going to work for forty hours a week to get paid. Don’t get me wrong, I still wanna be successful when I’m older. But while a “successful career” is hard for me to define, a fulfilling life is what I’m after. Maybe when I grow up and a 9-5 job is what I ultimately need to do, it will be there for me. For now, I will be taking this journey to experience what it feels like to know that my work made a difference to someone, not to some corporation.
With my decision, I’m curious to see what everyone else has done. How have you handled the “real world”? How has the economy affected your decision? Please share.